'Met Idul Adha, people :)

HEY, bsok qta bakal ngerayain Idul Adha ya ... senangnya masih dikasi umur ama Allah SWT untuk bisa nikmatin hari raya Haji di tahun ini. Dan selebihnya happy donk bisa qurban dan makan 'hasil sembelihan'. Rencananya sih bsok malem, di rumah bakal ngadain barbeque. Biasanya sih rame soalnya banyak sodara yang dateng. Nah berhubung tahun ini banyak sodara yang ngabisin liburan ga di BDG, jadinya bsok bareng beberapa sepupu aja. Wah pokoknya, can't wait fo tomorrow deh.

Nah lo, bsoknya lagi qta udah TAHUN BARU-an euy!!! Cieh, yang udah punya resolusi canggih .. iya deh, gw turut doain smoga pada lancar semua rencana -- pastinya rencana yang baik2 aja. Bo, yang masukin finding someone special atau bahkan mau nikah di agenda resolusi 2007, siapa hayooo ??? Yeee, ketauan deh, tuh pipinya pada merah ... Siplah, pokoknya ikut ngedoain yang terbaik aja. Selamat seneng2 ya, pals ... but don't 4get to share it even just in a quarter to another people u believe. Percaya deh, mereka (atau mungkin dia) bakal seneng juga. Buat yang blon punya rencana ato resolusi buat 2007, waduh semangat donk ... gmanapun juga qta kudu punya planning buat ngeraih sesuatu yang lebih baik di masa yang akan dateng. Hope that will help you a lot.

See you all guys in 2007 yakkkk .... :)

Perhaps

After these all times, i almost found someone whom i believed and existed for me. I almost believe that he was the one who will fill this emptyness. The characteristic what I'm looking for mostly in a guy is on him. But again and again there was barrier we couldn't through together, technically and mentally. Where is my querida actually? Among those million people, why I still can't her that bell-ringing?

He said that he felt the same things all these years ... hard to find someone who make complete his life totally. In such of time, our conversation ran so smooth and pretty-catchy. Honestly, I did, put some hopes there just same like he did. But do not know why system stopped us harshly with no sign and clear intuition.

Here, on my warm seat, I just try to keep that beautiful short-conversation scene in memory. At least, I know that this world still keep kinda guy like him. Perhaps this will bring us to another better idea. Perhaps GOD still wants this run mysteriously. Or perhaps we're not belong together for better reason ... He's not that good for me and neither am i.

GOD, I'm end-up for this case. Please just give us a clear sign to walkfor any possible result. Make it easier or add us more energy to meet other someone better for our life. Amien.


Hemmm ... still can't erase you from my mind, querida ...

"Bila aku jatuh cinta"

Wanna know how i will be like when i'm in love trully??
Uhmm .. biasanya sih bakal salah tingkah berat (really do not know whut should to do in front of him), trus disertai dengan blushing di sana-sini, sampe deadlock-nya gw bakal banyak diem di depan tuh cowok. GOSH, can you imagine ... gw yang aslinya demen nyolot dan ga takut buat ngedebat (bahkan sampe ke hal2 yang ga penting) siapapun, bakal mati kutu ama orang yang sukses berat bikin gw ketar-ketir setiap detiknya. Oiya, on several cases, gw bahkan malah nampilin hal yang ga gw banget di depan tuh cowok ... such as ... malah nampilin sisi buruk gw. Gokil ga??? Dimana2 kalo orang lagi 'sakit cinta', pengennya nunjukin yang terbaik dari dirinya, kan? Nah gw tuh kebalikannya. Masalahnya, kelakuan ini ga banyak yang membuahkan keberhasilan dalam kehidupan asmara gw. Yang terjadi kemudian, they left me behind ... wakakakak (loh, why laughing??) Because logically, it naturally will happened, rite???

What kinda man will make me so suffer in love ??
Uhmm .. seringnya sih yang langsung bikin gw DIEM seribu bahasa, sekaligus kesel, karna ga bisa nimpalin pemikiran ato bahkan omelan-omelan dia. He really make me 'dead' on that time directly. Karena gw biasa 'mimpin' adek2 gw kali ya, sehingga secara ga langsung ada keinginan dari alam bawah sadar gw untuk mencari yang bisa 'mimpin' gw. Jadi, please ... minggir dulu cowok2 yang bisanya cuman pengen dimanja, dimengerti, diprioritaskan tanpa mampu nggiring gw ke kehidupan yang lebih baik ke depannya. Well we just talked about other serious things here, yah?? Sorry to say, but hell yeah !!! Eh, tapi don't get me wrong ... bukan brarti gw ga demen memberi sayang loh (you can interview all my ex for sure ...), cuman AGAK capek juga kl di posisi ini gw juga kudu 'ngasuh' terus. Bukannya hubungan kayak gini kudu imbang antara memberi dan menerima ??

It should be about me .. that's why blog's made, rite ???

How ya doin, y'all !!! Whuddap there ??? Feel's better here ... (Ternyata, nulis tuh asyik juga ^_^) Hey, I just wanna drop for awhile here. Please just buy it ... sit, read, and enjoy da time when you visit my blogger here. Wanna know me better, well u just picked da rite channel ... here ... here

My beloved grandpa (RIP) was named me MAHARANI KUSUMA NEGARA. That's pretty name means 'the queen of queens'. All people surround me hoping that i will be the great leader in every single circumstances, at least for my own life, my own need. Probz that's one of reason why i have kinda strong leadership side in me ... rememba bout: "your name is your parent's prays" ... NAH, i guess that have tight link with. Besides, i'm the SULUNG .. means very first child of my lovely parents. After three years of my existency in this world, mommy gives me a cute lil sist. And surprisingly in 18 years later after i was born, my mommy gives us 'the highlander' lil bro. What a life??? Sumtimez we couldn't guess anything, hahh ..

Here, on my warm chair, I'm 23 years old, single, and still fussy for anything. Plan is important for my real life. The alternation of it oftenly makes me hard to move happily. Dan itu yang skarang gw hadapi ... bener2 ga gampang jadi gw ... It's not easy to be me ... Kekolotan gw, kerasnya gw, dan (ehm ... let's say sometimes) kesombongan gw bener2 bisa bikin gw gokil sendirian di dunia yang konon makin lama makin susah buat diajak kompromi ini. Ga jarang gw berpikir ... wondering so far ... what kinda person would my soulmate be?? Bakal ama siapa hati gw bakal memberi sinyal untuk berdegup kencang tapi juga sekaligus bisa berhenti mendadak ?? Life is full of mystery dan gw ga cukup punya kuasa buat tau smua. Dari skian tanya, if i may to choose, only this short question i will bare to figure ... KAPAN GW JATUH CINTA LAGI???

Bo, you can laugh me loudly ... i don't care ... cuz it's true, dude ... in this phase, i'm still looking and seeing who's gonna get my a half-part, or whom i will meet to complete this empty soul with, that i can caring of, sharing of , and feel comfy just to show who me.

Talking about love -- that sumtimes being da s**t thing -- i watched drama movie just last nite, named CINTA SILVER. One scene touched me so deep when we realize that: "Ga bisa berbagi sedih dan tangis ama orang yang qta sayang, bisa jadi hal pedih dalam hidup qta. Tapi yang lebih bikin qta sakit sendiri adalah ketika ga bisa sharing kebahagian ama orang yang qta sayang." That words' like cutted me in deep and i must say that i do feel so when i have those times. GOD ... love is co complicated to be understood. Apa ga ada hal lain yang lebih komplek dari ini ???

Resolusi di 2007 (1)

Hello, siapa yang udah bikin ato sedang berancang2 bikin resolusi hidup buat 2007 skarang ini ??? Gw juga lagi mikir nih gmana bagusnya gw nyusun smua agenda baru dan harapan-harapan baru ini ... ternyata ga gampang ya??? Terbukti, gw lebih banyak diemnya setelah nulis satu-dua kata di atas kertas. Tapi yang pasti, bakal ada banyak hal yang mau gw perbaiki di 2007, included my carrer, further educations that hopefully will be obtained soon (ihh .. senengnya bisa skolah lagi), romance life (uhm ... PENTING GA YA???? .. yeah, we'll see deh), dan ga lupa buat bikin seneng mommy, daddy, and my 'lil sist and bro dengan smua yang bakal gw bikin tar di 2007. AMIEEEEEENNNNN !!!!

But after all, really the most memorable feeling yang DAPET banget adalah ketika gw bisa bikin keluarga gw seneng, bangga, dan pastinya ga pernah ngerasa nyesel punya anak kayak gw. Bo, rasanya kok gw blon bisa kasi banyak ya buat mereka ... padahal they did and have did so much things for my life ... even till this second ... (KYA ... jadi pengen nangis). It's really make me blue this time kalo udah inget jasa2 ortu (khususnya) dan (secara langsung ato ga) adk2 gw ...



FAMZ, U KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU ....... HUGE THANKZ FOR EVERYTHING U'VE DONE FOR ME ... :)

JENUH

It's seem like nothing run good, dude. All plans and dreams still in the box, not going anywhere. PUFHHH ... where should i seek the soulder?? Really dunno have better idea to cope it, till only one word that i know to spell ... J - E - N - U - H ... (Indonesia's vocab).

Next question should be answered soon is WHEN WILL THESE STUFFS HAPPEN FOR REAL ??? I'm too tired to wait and sit. It's really not worth !! But the situation is too hard also to through. Not as easy as i wish before ... in back days ... back decades ...

I need to walk faster, even i have to run, i'll do. But sometimes .. somehow i dunno where to start. It's cliche, okay then. But it's trully happen in my life. And several people that i recognized as friends before ... AGHHH ... they are like swept by the wind ... dunno where they are right now. What a life ???? It's too perfect to believe. I really need a help for this. I did follow the bibliotheraphy and lots of cinematherapy to accomplish this life better. But it feels no complete yet as medicine. I need something's real happened .. even just one in once ... that's happiness ... that's joy ... that's glory (-_-). Life's really like the wheel, yuhh ???